Worst Passenger of the Week: A Right Wanker in the Aisle Seat

Every Friday, FlyerTalk looks back at the week’s most charming individuals. While there are always plenty of contenders for our Worst Passenger of the Week award, only one lucky flyer can take home the glory. Here are this week’s winners.

Third Place – Sir, Is This Your Hand Grenade?

The passenger who caused Yeager Airport (CRW) in Charleston, West Virginia to be evacuated on Monday while the bomb squad responded to an item in his carry-on bag, was issued a citation for attempting to carry an inert hand grenade through a security checkpoint. Flights at the airport were suspended for just over 30 minutes after TSA screeners reportedly discovered the World War II era weapon among John Gregg Goodykoontz’s personal items.

Understandably, the protocols in place for incidents in which a small bomb is found in a passenger’s bag at the airport involve a bit more than just accepting the traveler’s word for it that the device has been rendered inert. Authorities, however, seemed to be convinced the whole ordeal was a case of bad judgment on Goodykoontz’s part rather than malicious intent.

“We regret any inconvenience to the traveling public but the safety and security of the public and of our employees comes first,” Yeager Airport Executive Director Terry Sayre said in a statement about the incident. “I appreciate the exemplary work of the TSA personnel, Yeager Airport Police, and the Kanawha County Sheriff’s Department Bomb Squad for the professional manner in which they handled this incident.”

The Runner-up – Passenger Non Grata

The Trump detractor who launched into a tirade against a Trump supporter on an Alaska Airlines flight from Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport (BWI) to Seattle–Tacoma International Airport (SEA) might not be the best ambassador for the cause. A video of the unidentified woman’s rant plays like the least cogent episode of McLaughlin Group ever.

“You pretend you have the moral high ground but you put that man’s finger on the nuclear button,” she can be heard saying on the cell phone video. “That man doesn’t believe in climate change. Do you believe in gravity? Did you know gravity is just a theory?”

In her defense, the agitated flyer seemed to greatly overestimate the constitutionally protected rights she was entitled to before the new US President was sworn in. She made an earnest demand that the cabin crew immediately remove the Trump supporter (who was by all accounts minding his own business) from her sight.

The flight attendant politely disabused her of the notion that she could choose seat mates who share her political views. “You don’t have that right,” she simply explained.

The irate flyer also seemed to be somewhat confused about her rights as a passenger, rights she attempted to assert immediately after an airline employee told her she was being kicked off the flight. “There’s no way I’m getting off this plane,” she announced defiantly. “My husband lost his mother. Have some respect.”

Police eventually arrived to escort the politically minded passenger from the plane. As she was being led from the plane, applause, cheers and a chant of “U-S-A, U-S-A” soon followed.

Perhaps the inauguration weekend flight from the nation’s capital was a bit of a hostile audience. Any one of the dozens of flights chocked full of “nasty women” last weekend might have offered a slightly more supportive environment for the discouraged opponent of the Trump administration.

The Winner – You Can Just Go Ahead and Keep that Blanket

A complaint forwarded to KLM might just make the rest of us feel silly for griping about that seat mate who hogged the armrest. The upset passenger wrote to the airline to complain about a much, much worse seat mate who openly watched a pornographic video on a mobile device before proceeding to pleasure himself under a blanket.

“This was absolutely disgraceful behavior,” the unfortunate eyewitness, who wishes to remain anonymous, told the UK tabloid newspaper The Sun. “I was so shocked at the time I genuinely didn’t know what to do. He was looking at pretty graphic gay porn on his phone beforehand and wasn’t really making any attempt to hide it. The only reason I didn’t report him at the time or go up and confront him myself is that there were families with kids on board and I didn’t want to make a scene.”

“Hi KLM, just off a flight. The passenger beside me masturbated underneath the blanket after looking at graphic images on his phone,” the clearly disgusted passenger wrote in his complaint to the airline. “This is disgusting. Didn’t say anything as flight full and young kids around. What is the procedure to complain about this? It’s disgusting. Surely this is illegal. I don’t know what to say. This is really appalling. Completely disgusting. Felt incredibly uncomfortable feeling his elbow hit mine. He must have known what he was doing. He was using the TV screen controls and placed tissues in the seat pocket in front of him. I feel bad for your staff, cleaning staff and next passengers.”

KLM would not confirm the incident, but a customer service agent did respond to the initial complaint. “We can imagine that you did not feel comfortable,” the airline wrote back. “We take this matter seriously and you will hear from us as soon as possible.”

[Photo: Shutterstock]